Buyer And Cellar Playbill -

To read the play in its entirety or license it, you can view the official script listed at Concord Theatricals or preview the published book through Google Books .

I just want to make that clear before we start. Because I don't want to get sued." ⭐ Why It Works as an Audition Piece

It showcases your ability to break the fourth wall and command the room naturally.

The humor relies heavily on a dry, self-aware delivery rather than over-the-top punchlines.

In Jonathan Tolins' brilliant one-man show, Alex—a struggling, out-of-work actor who was just fired from Disneyland—takes a bizarre job curating the fictionalized underground shopping mall in Malibu basement. 🎭 The Monologue (Selection)

This is a work of fiction. This is a story about a guy named Alex Moore—that's me—and what happens when he takes a job working in a certain lady's basement. Now, the basement is real. You can read about it in her book, My Passion for Design . She built a street of shops under her barn in Malibu to house her collection of dolls, and clothes, and antiques. But the job I had, and the things that happened to me down there... those are made up. They are a product of Jonathan Tolins' imagination.

You have to play multiple characters throughout the show, and this opening establishes your baseline charisma.

"First of all, I want to thank you all for coming. Before we begin, there are a few things I have to say. I am not Barbra Streisand. I don't do her. I don’t think anybody should do her. She’s too specific. Even when people do her brilliantly, it's not her, it's an interpretation. So if you're looking for an impersonation, that’s not what this is.