Trading For Dummies, Second Edition (for Dummie... -

For the first hour, he watched the screen like a hawk. The stock went up three cents. Arthur calculated his gains: enough for a very small cup of gourmet coffee. He felt like a titan of industry. He briefly considered wearing a three-piece suit to the library.

Determined to succeed, he bought a copy of . He didn't mind the title; in fact, he found it refreshingly honest.

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His first real trade was in a company that manufactured eco-friendly shoelaces. "Everyone has feet," Arthur reasoned, tapping a finger against Chapter 5.

Arthur decided to dance. He held his position, set his technical indicators as the book suggested, and resisted the urge to refresh his browser every twelve seconds. By the end of the month, the velcro fad faded—turns out, people missed the dignity of a well-tied knot—and Arthur’s eco-laces rebounded. For the first hour, he watched the screen like a hawk

He didn't become a billionaire overnight, but he did earn enough to upgrade his spice rack to a motorized, rotating carousel. As he sat in his kitchen, watching his cumin spin past his paprika, Arthur patted his yellow-and-black book. He may have started as a "dummy," but he was now a dummy with a very respectable .

Arthur spent three weeks highlighting the book in a color-coded system so complex it required its own legend. He learned the difference between a (the exciting one) and a bear market (the one where you hide under your desk). He mastered the art of the "Stop-Loss Order," which the book assured him was the financial equivalent of a safety net, rather than a "Panic Button," though Arthur suspected they were the same thing. He felt like a titan of industry

"Volatility is not your enemy," he read aloud, his voice trembling slightly. "It is your dance partner."